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We Don't Need to Stop and Ask.....

So, if you're a guy reading this, congratulations for making it this far.

If you’re on the fence about coming in for therapy please continue to keep an open mind. It usually takes us longer to make the decision to come in for therapy - like stopping and asking for directions.  One reason is because most of got the message that we don’t need to talk about feelings or emotional issues – we should just "deal with it"...or "get over it"...or take it out on the sports field (my own personal favorite). Maybe those things worked for a while, but a lot of things just don't go away and they wind up coming out as something else.

Most of us do like to solve problems though and probably also received the message from a very young age that it is our job to "fix things."  (I think another reason we don't like to stop and ask for directions is because we want and like the satisfaction we get from solving the problem of being lost or finding the way.) This is not a bad thing or wrong way to be.

Unfortunately most of us were not given much instruction on how to solve problems of the emotional variety.  We don't tend to see “talking” (therapy) as the first (or usually any) course of action to solve a problem.  But, even though I practice "talk therapy," it focuses on finding or constructing solutions to emotional and/or behavioral problems.

Sometimes, every once in a while, a map or finding someone who knows the area can be helpful.  And, we actually know that many men: 

  • Get depressed, but men don't usually experience depression as a state of ongoing or prolonged sadness (though they can). A man's symptoms of depression are more likely to be expressed as irritability, physical fatigue, aggressiveness, distractedness, or even as sexual problems.
  • Have experienced some type of trauma in life - like physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse.
  • Have witnessed or directly experienced extreme violence
  • Become overwhelmed with anxiety
  • Have marital problems and actually want to improve their marriages
  • Develop addictions as a method of coping
  • Get extremely angry
  • Just really don’t know how to express themselves in a healthy and productive way

If any of this applies to you and you're ready to find out if therapy can help, please call 860.678.0323 or click Contact to send an e-mail.  You can also find more information about men in therapy by clicking the National Institute of Health.